The 2015 Toyota Sienna Saves a Family

"Earthbound And Down" (andrewkrok)
07/22/2014 at 11:37 • Filed to: 2015 toyota sienna, minivans, toyota sienna

( Most press releases are boring, as is writing about them. So, I took an exceptionally boring press release and, um, spiced it up a bit. )

"Do I like it?! DO I LIKE IT?!" There was sweat on David's upper lip. "You just spent an obscene amount of money – my god-damned hard-earned money – on a completely frivolous purchase, and you didn't even bother to ask me ! Of course I don't like it! I'm having a hard time liking you right now!"

He threw his leather briefcase onto the entryway's tile. By the time the briefcase hit the floor with a dull thud, Ashley's smile had turned upside-down. Her lower lip was quivering, her eyes were watering. David hadn't spoken to her like this in a very long time. Not since before therapy, the therapy that (by his promise) would "fix our problems" and "secure a solid foundation for the family going forward." Now, it was like he'd never spent those countless hours in Dr. Kilbourn's office. Happy days were gone again, it seemed.

As the garage door creaked its way skyward, David knew immediately that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Instead of an empty garage space, he saw a giant black monstrosity taking up the space that was rightfully his . He was the one that went to work. He was the one who put up with the insane demands of his how-did-they-even-get-hired superiors. He was the one who made the decisions. Evidently, that all changed sometime between eight in the morning and five in the afternoon.

"God damn it," David shrieked. "A brand new 2015 Toyota Sienna? You've got to be fucking kidding me." He parked, on the driveway, like it wasn't the home he paid the mortgage on .

The door to the Camry slammed shut so hard that it rustled the receipts in the center console like a pile of leaves in a stiff breeze. Somebody is going to get it. Somebody is really going to get it.

David entered the house and came face-to-face with an ear-to-ear smile.

"Do you like it?" Ashley was clearly proud of herself. She was brimming with a level of optimistic anticipation that David hadn't seen in years. "Please tell me you like it!"

She stammered. "B-b-but, but we needed a new—"

"A NEW WHAT?!" David's face was red, the reddest it had been in a very long time. His hands, now briefcase-free, were balled up tightly, like a dog afraid of fireworks. His knuckles were white. Ashley's face was slowly turning that same shade.

"…A new minivan, Daddy! A 2015 Toyota Sienna! We needed a new minivan, and Mommy bought the best one!"

David turned to see his fraternal triplets – Billy, Vince, and Andrew – standing near the kitchen, all three faces resembling Ashley's by this point. David knew at this point that he needed to calm down. Above all else, Dr. Kilbourn reiterated the notion that the children must never see David's bad side again.

David relaxed his fists and breathed deeply. This wasn't the end of the world. They had prepared for a big expenditure, but David had hoped that it would go towards a new kitchen, or perhaps even that new roof that Ashley and David both wanted. But, at the same time, Ashley should have known that this wouldn't go over well. Anything this extreme had the chance to dredge up something that nobody , not even David, wanted to see ever again.

"Well," David managed to spit out between clenched teeth, "How do you know Mommy picked the best one?" His eyes were still locked onto Ashley's, as if to say you are so unbelievably lucky the kids are home right now.

Billy walked up to his father, having already taken the keys off the kitchen counter, grabbed David by his now-unfurled hand, and led him into the garage.

"Come on, Daddy, see for yourself."

David once again set his eyes upon this giant black mass of money that could have – should have – been better spent. Billy pressed a button on the remote, the Sienna's doors unlocked, and the headlights came on.

"Look at the headlights, Daddy!" The Sienna's new, LED-heavy front fascia stared right back at David. "They look like they're from a spaceship! Aren't they cool?! They look so cool! Now I actually want Mommy to drive me to school and soccer practice!"

David paused for a moment. Their old minivan had been giving them plenty of trouble, trouble that would have likely cost the family more money in the long run. Perhaps this wasn't a bad idea. He was still fuming, but now, slightly less so.

Billy climbed into the front seat and opened up the Sienna's conversation mirror. "Look at this little mirror, here, Daddy. Now you don't need to turn around to yell at us – all you need to do is look in this little mirror. It's much safer, Daddy. It's called a conversation mirror, for having conversations. Hopefully not for yelling conversations…" Billy had a good point, and hearing that caused David to feel pangs of guilt in his stomach.

He remembered one time, on the way to Andrew's soccer practice, when one of the kids spilled a juice box on the old minivan's beige carpeting. It didn't matter which one was at fault; all three of them were going to feel responsible for the accident, god damn it, because yelling just felt right. It felt, dare he say it, good. But it didn't feel good for the kids. And it didn't feel good for Ashley, who took the kids on an impromptu "vacation" to the downtown Hyatt for the night. Being left alone in a vulnerable mood didn't help matters any.

"It's also super safe, Daddy. Did you know that? It has more airbags than any other minivan, because Mommy wants us to be as safe as possible. Accidents happen and nobody wants to get hurt, Daddy."

That didn't happen after the last accident. A few years back, when the triplets were still very young, somebody pulled out of an alley and smashed into the van's front end. Ashley had a small cut above her eyebrow from the accident, and all three boys were crying. David spent the weekend in jail, and the next three months in court, because he nearly split the other driver's skull in two on the concrete. In front of his children. It didn't remedy the crying.

Billy then directed his father's attention to the instrument cluster. "Look, Daddy, this will be your favorite part. The directions from the big map can be put right in front of you on the screen! That's good because it means you won't miss any more turns." Billy hung his head low, finishing his pitch with, "And we all know how much you hate missing turns…"

Silence.

David knew what Billy meant by that. The family road trip didn't end when they missed that turn, but the fun sure did. One red palm, one red cheek, one crying child, one seemingly innocuous question asked at just the wrong time. It wasn't his proudest moment. But it was the move that spurred him to seek out Dr. Kilbourn. Now, in the garage, David finally began to realize just how much his anger had affected his family.

Billy's eyes widened up once again. He had one more thing to show his father, and he saved the best for last. "Okay, Daddy, one more thing. I think you're going to love it. Climb into the minivan and get in the back row. Doesn't everything feel nice? Everything feels so nice. And it's black, so if we spill again, it will be easy to clean up." David made his way into the Sienna's third row, where there was plenty of legroom for even a man of his size.

"Can you still hear me, Daddy, even though I'm talking quietly?"

"Yes, Billy, I can. Why is that?" David was genuinely intrigued at this point. He was interested, he seemed eager to hear his son out, for the first time in a long time.

"Because there's a microphone, Daddy. The nice man at Toyota said that it's called Driver Easy Speak. There's a microphone above the driver's seat and it sends your voice to the speakers in the back so you can hear me. You don't have to yell, Daddy. You don't ever have to yell again."

You don't ever have to yell again. That was the five-finger death punch. David sunk into the third row, completely defeated. Maybe the minivan was a good idea. Maybe Ashley knew exactly what the family needed, not only to keep up with family activities, but also to keep the family together. Maybe she actually bought this minivan for him , to provide a collection of bandages that would cover every one of his open wounds. Maybe Toyota built this minivan just for him, because the company knew that even though life gets hard, there are always ways to make it easier.

Ashley and the remaining two children hung their heads into the open sliding door of the Sienna. All eyes were on David. They wanted to see if the minivan had won him over. If anything could win him over. They wanted to see if it was truly possible to save him from himself.

Every head queried in unison, "What do you think?"

David, still sunk into the Sienna's black leather interior, remained silent for a few seconds. His eyes started watering. Every memory from the last five years came flooding back to him. Yelling. Crying. Hitting. Drinking.

Then, finally, he smiled. Hopefully the unexpected adventures that Toyota wants its Sienna to inspire aren't the kind of adventures David struggles so hard to remove from his life.

"It's perfect."

DISCUSSION (100)

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 11:57

Best. Story. Ever.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 11:59

Kinja'd!!!

Goddamnit, Toyota. This isn't the 90s, I wanted a lucid OLED display!

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 11:59

Holy shit, dude.

That Sienna better not break down, ever, or there's going to be a quadruple murder-suicide

Earthbound And Down > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
07/22/2014 at 12:03

Thanks, I'm glad somebody read it all the way through. Long form fiction is not my strong suit, not by a long shot.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 12:04

Hey, look at me. I'm trying to write one of my stories (same one I posted about back in December) and I still struggle at a rough draft.

Earthbound And Down > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
07/22/2014 at 12:08

I'm still sitting on drafts of projects I started in 2009. I just feel bad when I think about them.

JohnPlayerSpecial > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 12:32

I read this in Regular Car Reviews' voice.

That was amazing.

I Started Something > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
07/22/2014 at 12:32

Seriously. Dad sounds downright terrible.

No idea what the actual press release was like but this was just awesome. Alot better than what's on the actual Toyota website - "mommy like" ..... WTF?! A minvan wasn't really on my list when I was looking for a new car, but that slogan on the web page just caused me to say "nope, not happening".

Earthbound And Down > JohnPlayerSpecial
07/22/2014 at 12:43

Thanks! I'm tickled to be associated with RCR. They do amazing work.

MikeofLA > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 12:59

Dude... that was pretty hard core. I almost want to buy a Sienna for my girlfriend and 10 pound dog.

Earthbound And Down > MikeofLA
07/22/2014 at 13:07

See? It's far more compelling than a press release.

The Toyota Sienna: Save Your Children From Merciless Beatings

EL_ULY > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 13:24

Kinja'd!!!

BOSS!!!!!!

Earthbound And Down > I Started Something
07/22/2014 at 14:57

The actual press release was so awful that the idea of a father beating his children seemed more appealing than giving a minivan to families with Vine accounts.

Kex > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 14:59

That was beautiful.

DipodomysDeserti > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:02

On next week's episode: David murders his family, because he's a fucking psychopath.

rUDy Flyer 41 > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:04

Holy shit this was amazing. Well freakin done.

945T > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
07/22/2014 at 15:04

I love how it looks so sad to be a Toyota. Like it's frowning at the passengers.

Earthbound And Down > Kex
07/22/2014 at 15:05

Thanks!

Earthbound And Down > rUDy Flyer 41
07/22/2014 at 15:05

Jesus may or may not love you (I have no idea), but I sure do. Thanks!

BradAusrotas > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:06

This was hilarious, dark, and about 40 times more compelling than any press release I've ever read. Kudos!

Sweet Trav > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:08

Great story.

Still id rather have venereal disease than drive a minivan.

Earthbound And Down > BradAusrotas
07/22/2014 at 15:09

Thanks!

Christopher J. Yarbrough > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:09

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail

http://www.jobs700.com

Earthbound And Down > Sweet Trav
07/22/2014 at 15:09

Just get the 1,000-hp Bisimoto Odyssey. Problem solved.

Earthbound And Down > Christopher J. Yarbrough
07/22/2014 at 15:10

OH MY GOD, YOU DON'T SAY.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS OFFER THAT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, OH WISE INTERNET STRANGER.

Twism > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:11

I absolutely love it.

This is easily the best product presentation I ever read. Toyota would obviously never publish the story (because, you know, domestic abuse) but it is waaaay better than anything they could ever come up with (like their dreadful Swagger Wagon campaign).

If you can take the press release for a minivan and make it that interesting to read, I will eagerly read anything else you come up with!

Sweet Trav > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:12

I'd rather the Ford Transit that sits on a Jag XJ220

Its still a van though. blech.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:12

That was awesome. A little part of me can't believe I was moved by this. Nice work.

RallyWrench > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:13

I thoroughly enjoyed that, more so because one of these f*&%$*# things is probably in my future at some point, and with all the features that you so eloquently ran through, it's getting harder & harder to argue against them. The "It's not a stick" argument hold zero water at that point. Come that dark day, mine will look like this beauty from Speedhunters this morning:

Kinja'd!!!

Earthbound And Down > Twism
07/22/2014 at 15:14

But the car saves them from domestic abuse . Isn't that the sort of sap story that they want?

(I'm kidding. I know it's barely suitable for publication. The next one will be darker.)

Giant Lobster Monster > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:15

I wish my wife and I had enough money to make 40k purchases without consulting each other first.

Earthbound And Down > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
07/22/2014 at 15:15

A little part of me (just kidding, all of me) can't believe people actually read all of this.

It was 4 pages in Word, for Christ's sake. I didn't know people consumed that many words in one sitting anymore.

Earthbound And Down > Giant Lobster Monster
07/22/2014 at 15:16

I wish I could make a $40k purchase.

:(((((((((((((((((((((

Twism > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:18

I tried to envision it as a short movie, but anything short of gritty flashback for the violent episodes won't cut it. And that wouldn't go well with their lawyers.

are you staying in the ''press-release-turned-life-stories'' branch, or is it something else entirely?

BickPlayah > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:20

Easy Speak™

Fdor > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:23

I'd still be pissed off at the end of that. Making a massive purchase without consulting? I wouldn't care if it was the best thing in the world, I'd still be pissed. Anyone would be ... should be.

Earthbound And Down > Twism
07/22/2014 at 15:24

I like the idea of placing pure fiction directly over the facts laid out in the press release.

I've always idolized HST and those of his ilk, so I took the idea of story-as-hyperstylized-narrative that Tom Wolfe laid out in The New Journalism and tried to make it my own. However, instead of there being a true story (albeit written like a fictional one), I changed it up and utilized complete fiction.

In my mind, the only way to make them interesting is to make them either dark, violent, or funny (or a combination of those three). So, I guess, to answer your question that I haven't answered yet, yes, I'm going to keep doing them in this style. The next one will contain subject matter of an inherently more appalling nature.

And possibly the 2015 Ford F-150.

Earthbound And Down > Fdor
07/22/2014 at 15:26

Well maybe he still smothers his wife in her sleep that night.

Dream Theater of the Absurd > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:26

Will it involve David throwing Ashley's lifeless body into the back of the Sienna and driving off into the hills at 2:00 in the morning?

Earthbound And Down > Dream Theater of the Absurd
07/22/2014 at 15:27

No, it'll be a separate story. Totally different narrative.

That said, I'm sure David is still mulling it over. He is still down $40k...

Bandit > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:28

Damn. That's all I've got to say.

Jacque8080 > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:28

I second, best story evar. You covered all the unique features that everyone else will copy. And it made me think about how my actions are perceived by others. *single tear*

Earthbound And Down > Bandit
07/22/2014 at 15:28

I'm taking that as a compliment.

jooly thomas > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:28

Start working at home with GOOGLE!YAHOO. ABCNEWS AND MORE GLOBAL SITES... It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link,

www.cashjog.com

ScottNZ > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:29

Thank you so much. I am sitting here writing some lousy draft scripts for a used car dealer (I'm a copywriter) and your story was just the creative shot in the arm I needed right now. Buckle up, here comes Angry Dad!

Jacque8080 > Jacque8080
07/22/2014 at 15:32

This is my favorite line:

"Maybe she actually bought this minivan for him "

Sam > Twism
07/22/2014 at 15:32

They should institute a Shaggin' Wagon campaign!

TheamazingJared > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:32

It took me 8 minutes to figure out how to post a comment, you win all of today's internets. All of them.

Twism > Sam
07/22/2014 at 15:35

because hey, you already got the minivan, what's one or two kids more?

Hermann > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:41

Apparently this Sienna also includes an onion chopping device. Dammit.

Congratulations! That's excellent work.

StudyStudyStudy > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:43

Damn dude, that was pretty damn well done. I came into it thinking it was going to be another cheesy attempt by toyota to be hip, but this was just great, surprisingly I think it wouldn't be too bad for the public. I think a lot of people can relate, maybe not as intense as this, but to other instances of road rage or yelling or other things that happen in the family transport.

Mercedes Streeter > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:47

The next one should be a story that lead to a purchase of a smart fortwo!!

Louis Subearth > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:49

I know Toyota can make me Heidy making the next gen Sienna off the Alphard.

Kinja'd!!!

skippytheduck3 > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 15:58

I've said it before; I'll say it again. Any family that could be saved by a Toyota Sienna isn't worth saving:

The Panama City News-Gazette (cause these sort of yutzes ALWAYS live in Fla...) had a story the following day which detailed how David, Ashley, Billy, Vince, and Andrew, their new Sienna, their old Camry and their entire ranch-style house with tasteful Restoration Hardware-chic living room and Disney-character themed matching kid's room all disappeared into the massive sink hole which opened up beneath their one-car garage.

Their bodies, and their new mini-van, were never recovered and the yawning chasm, as sure a gateway to hell or madness as any ever found, remains as a mute warning to stay the hell away from boring-ass driving appliances regardless of the gew-gaws they might be accoutred with.

airwolf > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 16:12

Why is the stupid middle door black on the inside??

Laura S. Cain > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 16:27

http://www.jobs700.com

RazorGP > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 16:35

Interesting story and the like but leaving a spouse out of a major purchase is a big no-no. You don't surprise a person home from a day at work with something you spend a chunk of their earnings on with no consent.

TFRN > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 16:37

Good Lord.

Earthbound And Down > ScottNZ
07/22/2014 at 17:31

Writing isn't any fun unless you get weird with it.

Let your freak flag fly, brother.

Earthbound And Down > Mercedes Streeter
07/22/2014 at 17:32

I'd rather not write about violent rape that leads to brain damage, but thanks for the suggestion! ;)

Earthbound And Down > RazorGP
07/22/2014 at 17:33

I think it's fairly obvious that I'm not married.

IT'S THE ONLY PART OF THAT STORY THAT DIDN'T COME FROM EXPERIENCE :'''''''''''''(

Earthbound And Down > TFRN
07/22/2014 at 17:34

See, that's the kind of response I like.

Earthbound And Down > TheamazingJared
07/22/2014 at 17:35

I've been here for years and I can still barely figure it out.

Earthbound And Down > Hermann
07/22/2014 at 17:37

Aw, shucks, thanks!

Earthbound And Down > skippytheduck3
07/22/2014 at 17:38

There was a second door on the garage.

But, like most large families, that bay is filled with crap that doesn't fit anywhere else in the house.

Earthbound And Down > airwolf
07/22/2014 at 17:39

What's wrong with being black?

Mercedes Streeter > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 17:42

Kinja'd!!!

Earthbound And Down > Mercedes Streeter
07/22/2014 at 17:45

An Ally McBeal gif that doesn't involve the dancing baby?

Color me impressed.

Montalvo > DipodomysDeserti
07/22/2014 at 17:48

Yeah, they get grounded to the ground much like his brand new 2015 Toyota Sienna

Nismogtr600 > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 18:08

I just read a "review" about a mini-van. I couldn't stop reading. Give this man a Pulitzer, for the love of Christ.

No Prius Needed > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 18:09

I don't know why but it reminded me of this.

Pokeypokepoke > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 18:31

I tip my hat to you. Bravo!

Dances With Squids > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 18:34

Right. Cuz nothing fixes a dysfunctional family like a surprise high dollar purchase. I sure as hell hope it has memory seats or Ashley will be gently reminded anytime she leaves even one of the many adjustments in the wrong place.

All kidding aside. Good job on this. You could write for the Lifetime (aka men are scum) network.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 19:18

For some reason, I would like to see this press release rewritten by either David Cronenberg or Stephen King.

Captain Midnight > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 19:18

*PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Earthbound And Down > Captain Midnight
07/22/2014 at 19:30

You really think Toyota would pay some nobody to pen a story about their new family-friendly minivan that involves both child and spousal abuse?

I wish. Then I'd actually get paid for it.

I'm more of a Honda Odyssey guy myself; although I do have a Mazda5 right now, and I really like it.

Deborah J. Foster > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 19:53

My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week on laptop. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.

This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,, http://www.jobs700.com

emjayay > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 19:59

So which one did David's wife get? One like the goldish Limited with the lounge seats which David wouldn't care about because he's not riding back there, and also you don't get the little in between seat thing that makes it an eight passenger for carting more of the soccer team. I hope she got the SE with the one inch bigger wheels and lower profile tires and cooler grille and clear taillights like Asian guys put on their cars and some Accuras come with and fake carbon fiber bits on the dashboard and armrests.

emjayay > RallyWrench
07/22/2014 at 20:01

Should do really well on driveways and speed bumps.

emjayay > Sweet Trav
07/22/2014 at 20:05

I guess you will just have to go without the ability to throw a couple of bikes in the back and a bunch of camping stuff or whatever or maybe some sheets of plywood from Lowe's or whatever big remodeling bits or appliances or furniture or gas grills or whatever you need to pick up while riding smoothly and quietly and getting reasonable gas mileage and having comfortable back seats anyone can easily step into with air conditioning vents and built in sun shades back there too.

emjayay > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 20:09

FOUR RIDICULOUS SPAMS IN ONE THREAD. PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR COMMENT SYSTEM.

Sweet Trav > emjayay
07/22/2014 at 20:14

That sounds like the worst possible life I can imagine. I'll take the VD.

Earthbound And Down > emjayay
07/22/2014 at 21:32

I could have dismissed them, but I haven't yet.

Meh.

Ed H. Ashley > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 22:53

This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,, http://www.jobs700.com

sebdel > Christopher J. Yarbrough
07/22/2014 at 23:47

Christopher Y. Yarbrough?? I have to say that's an awesome fake name..

sebdel > Earthbound And Down
07/22/2014 at 23:54

I was reading this thinking about the $80.000 that sienna costs over here, much more dramatic!

sebdel > Deborah J. Foster
07/23/2014 at 00:00

good fake name, I'll give it a 3 out of 5 stars.

sebdel > jooly thomas
07/23/2014 at 00:01

I'm reviewing fake spammers names now, this has to be the worst one. Jooly? really???

sebdel > Laura S. Cain
07/23/2014 at 00:02

Ah, Laura! Great fake name, I'll give it 4 out of 5 stars.

sebdel > Ed H. Ashley
07/23/2014 at 00:06

Ed H?. awful fake name, I'll give it 2 out of 5 stars.

Jimmy Tango > Earthbound And Down
07/23/2014 at 00:49

Sat in one before, my friend the Awesome-Spaceship-Owner is also owner of 335is. The fun and family can be together in the same garage. (and he didn't even have kids!)

I_AmDeath > Earthbound And Down
07/23/2014 at 00:56

I love it but I feel like it should of read less like an advertisement when they are telling him about the features of it. It somewhat ruined parts of it for me.

I_AmDeath > emjayay
07/23/2014 at 00:58

It looks like it has the same amount of clearance as some sports cars. It's really not to bad for something lowered.

MadCowgod > Earthbound And Down
07/23/2014 at 07:39

Great story! It inspires me to write when I see people turning the most boring of things into awesome stories. I think I'm going to try this on a diabetes medication add, which should be the most sad and boring thing, equal to a minivan press release.

coqui70 > RallyWrench
07/23/2014 at 19:34

Now, now ... It's not the end of life - plus it's got a rompin' stompin' V6 that really hauls ass. Trust me - best roadtrip vehicle ever and a certified Q-ship. Plus I'm sure TRD has a few bits for it.

Jic Cruz > Earthbound And Down
07/25/2014 at 21:34

Okay, now I don't normally comment (wallflower here), but this is probably one of the best marketing of any car I've read by far.

Nothing like a good tug on the heartstrings to get the market going.

Considering a Sienna over here on our side of the world... But our local choices are the Alphard and the Previa. Priced at around 60-80k USD when you convert it.

Dest > RallyWrench
07/30/2014 at 12:33

Stop making so many babies?

RallyWrench > Dest
07/30/2014 at 13:03

Oh, I'm done after 2. But 2 kids' worth of gear & beach stuff, and coolers for dad's IPAs will fill a 53' semi, which I don't have room to park. Thus, a minivan with a kickass engine like the Honda or Toyota, on airbags with roof boxes, starts to make sense.

TheamazingJared > Earthbound And Down
07/30/2014 at 17:39

It only took me 8 days to figure out you replied to me.

airwolf > Earthbound And Down
08/08/2014 at 13:59

look at the front and the rear panel how its half black and half whatever the plastic toyota uses in their cars now. why isnt the middle door panel not the same? seems a bit odd and not flowing